I think that there are some people that you meet and you feel a very strong connection to and then there are those people that happen to be in your life (like family) and they are there for a reason. But sometimes those reasons are hard to know. There are people, like my sister, whom I have this deeper connection to than anyone else in my life. And its more than a sister connection!
I think that my sister is a strong part of my dharma. The minute that she was in my life I felt a connection that was strong. Its not just a sister connection either. Maybe it means, and I hope, that she will be a constant thread throughout my life.
Sebastien came into my life when I was heavily focused on myself. Probably more than I have ever been before. I had just committed to brining those things into my life that I wanted and that were good for me. I have to say that I worked really hard to get there and I know that I want to continue connecting to those things…
But there was something missing. It wasn’t complete. I wanted to find someone that I could share my passions and experiences with.  A year ago, I was in no shape for attracting the right person. I attracted people where couldn’t see pass their own stuff. I think it was because I had never really dealt with the fact that my dad left me. So I kept replaying the loss (by picking guys who were only able to care about themselves) hoping that somehow I could change it. Like if I was fun enough, or athletic enough, or if I was just born a boy maybe dad wouldn’t have left. But luckily I have done enough work to realize that dad leaving wasn’t my fault and even if I was the prince of France.. he still would of left. (Yes I do know that there is not a prince of France.) But I also know that I haven’t done all the work. I haven’t accepted all the stuff that has happened along the way. Soo I am cautious about how that effects my world and especially in my attractions to others. But I feel that I am not going backwards and that I am making the steps (however slow and small) forward.
I feel fortunate enough to feel a strong connection to my dharma. Even when it would have been easier to just fall into the trap of what society believes is “right” or what our/my family believes is “right” I never did it for very long. I was to drawn to my dharma…
I know that the minute that I meet Sebastien and felt his presence I wanted to get to know him more and learn as much as I could about him.  I felt very comfortable around him. We use to (not like it has been that long ago) walking down the beach together and talking for hours. I really enjoyed it because I think it was the first time that I exposed a more connected me. And I’m so excited that in doing so I have attracted Sebastien more and more. Its like getting rewarded for doing something right… Which is not a reinforcement I have been open to in the past. It makes me very happy and excited about whats to come.
I still have a lot of healing and accepting left to do. But I know that and I will do it… because its on my “List of things to accomplish”…he he.